AskRebecca Question
Hi Rebecca,
I see so many people around me getting engaged and starting a family. I know I’m not ready for all that yet but most of time I find myself wishing I was at least on that path. I guess I’m just wondering if it will ever happen for me? I hate harboring jealousy for people I should be happy for.
Theresa
26
Florida
Hi Theresa,
Yes, absolutely you will have a happy loving relationship and a couple of kids to go along with your marriage. You want it badly but right now you are more focused on establishing a career and material wealth. You want to be successful in your financial pursuits currently because for you it seems more easily attainable then love. Honestly, you just need to choose to find some balance in your life when it comes to your dreams. You work extremely hard and keep yourself busy, busy, busy so you won’t have to deal with feeling alone even if you are dating/hooking up or seeing someone.
You’ve had a couple of rough experiences in the love department mainly with guys who cheated, were emotionally unavailable and emotional manipulators. So keeping love at bay for the time being is much easier. You just aren’t ready to commit to the actions required to pursue love because you are afraid. The most important thing for you at this moment is to fall in love with yourself. Once you respect, honor, cherish and love yourself unconditionally then and only then will you be able to allow yourself to receive love from someone who isn’t like the others.
All it really takes is opening your heart and being available emotionally to date a variety of people until you find the one that sticks. Have fun with the idea of meeting someone. Go out on dates to figure out yourself and what you want. You won’t know until you try. Love isn’t so scary when we stop taking it so serious and making it a thing of heartbreak. No failures, just experiences in the pursuit of happiness. Sometimes we’re compatible with someone and pursue long term relationships…great! Sometimes we ‘re not compatible with someone and choose to move on…great! If you can choose to see the incompatibilities as a learning curve, even a stepping stone to something greater instead of a failure, you’ll feel more empowered and in charge of your life. Right now you view an incompatibility as a failure by taking it extremely personal. Then you attach it to your self worth and because of this you have layers of your heart on lock down.
In order to experience a different type of relationship it is of the highest importance to learn from them. Otherwise, you keep repeating patterns of behaviors which leaves you in a perpetual tailspin and revolving door of shitty guys.
Deep down you are not really harboring jealousy it just feels this way. In fact you are happy for people. What you are experiencing is anger towards yourself because you wonder what’s wrong with you and why hasn’t love found you so easily as everyone else. They just happen to want a relationship and believe they deserve one. Where as you want a relationship and believe you don’t deserve one. You also let fear paralyze you, instead of allowing yourself to just feel the fear while taking actions towards what you want. You also have a tendency to focus on more of what you don’t want out of a relationship so you end up calling the same type of guy towards you, the one you don’t want. You haven’t fully let go of past hurts. So you are a magnet for the guy who will do you wrong because there is a part of you who believes all men are the same and you don’t deserve any better. They are not all the same and you do deserve better.
Make room in your life for love and figure out who Theresa is and what she wants then go for it….or you’ll just be sitting on the sidelines watching everyone else take the leap of love. You can have it all. Be courageous. Have fun!
Stay positive and every time the negative voice in your head tells you you’re not worthy or good enough for a successful relationship….shut it down. Stop listening because it’s not true.
I hope I was able to give you some insight into your question. If you’re interested in some Intuitive Life Coaching to help get you on the right path we can schedule a free consultation.
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